As our wait has continued, so many people have said things to us like, “Oh, you should savor this extra time together! You should go out to dinner! Or go to a movie! Or sleep in!” The comments are almost always said with a wistful tone, as they’re usually coming from parents of small children (or people who have at one point been the parents of small children), people who don’t have the freedom or luxury of being able to spontaneously do whatever it is they want to do. I know they are not meant to be hurtful or negative in any way.
But if I’m honest, and I’m usually pretty darn honest here, I usually want to strangle the well-intentioned people who are saying these things to me. (But I haven’t, at least so far.)
Why? Because this is not what we want to be doing. We want nothing more than to have our daughter home with us, to be stuck in the house, waking up at all hours, and relegated to ordering pizza when we don’t feel like cooking. Frankly, after 12 years of marriage, we’ve got a great, comfortable routine down, but we’re tired of it. And we have a daughter halfway around the world; it’s impossible to do anything without her on our minds.
Now, intellectually, I know the grass is always greener. And I imagine at some point in the not-so-distant future I will wistfully think, “Oh, wouldn’t it be nice to just be able to drop everything and go out to a quiet, adult-only dinner tonight?” I’m positive I’ll have those thoughts. But I’m going to try really hard to never speak them out loud to people who are struggling in a child-less state.
After that bit of a rant, though, I will say that I found myself really savoring this past weekend. On Saturday we spent a few hours reorganizing our kitchen cabinets, and it’s sort of embarrassing how happy that project made me. Craig cooked an amazing dinner. I set the table, which is something that generally never happens in our house unless we have guests. We had cocktails AND wine. We listened to my new favorite Pandora station (Mumford&Sons) and played a couple of board games after dinner – just the two of us. (I won.) On Sunday I had brunch with girlfriends, and Craig did school work. I worked on pulling together things for our trip – everything except our toiletries, clothing, and personal electronics – as we need to be ready to go on extremely short notice. This means that I actually have things for Baby K fully ready to go. Then we went out for what we hope was a “last hurrah” dinner at our favorite local special occasion restaurant (special occasion mainly because you can only get a reservation a few weeks in advance; otherwise we’d go more often).
Really, there was nothing remarkable about this weekend. We didn’t take a trip, we didn’t make any special plans (other than making the dinner reservation – but we could have eaten anywhere). It was just a typical weekend. I noted to Craig at one point, though, that I had really enjoyed our weekend, just the two of us. I took time to take it in and appreciate it all, after 12 years of weekends just like this one. He felt the same way. So I think we’ve accomplished what people have suggested to us, really – that we should appreciate and savor these moments as two, before we become three.
(But let’s all collectively hope that we’re three really, really soon. Okay?)