between

This time between trips is bizarre. That’s the word that keeps coming to mind; I can’t really think of another one. It’s unlike anything else I’ve ever known, that’s for sure.

We spent a week with our daughter in Ethiopia and then we returned to our life as regularly scheduled – work, household chores, stupid TV shows, and so on. But there’s nothing normal or regular about our life now. It is 100% different, because we know her and because she’s not with us. Nothing is the same.

We’re stuck between two worlds – the old world that was so normal until a couple of weeks ago, and the new world that includes our daughter.

We’ve been keeping busy, and I suppose that will be key to surviving these next several weeks. Over the weekend we emptied out the room that will be Baby K’s. We also started to figure out what we need for her. We pulled together a guest list for a shower friends are throwing for us in a few weeks. I spoke with my boss and arranged my maternity leave.

We are thinking and planning and doing things to prepare to bring her home. But she’s not here. And we’re not there. So everything just seems weird – because it IS weird.

However, it is what it is. I’m reminding myself of that mantra and I’ll be chanting it countless times a day, I’m sure. We’ll deal with this in-between time because we have to. And with each day that passes we’ll know that we’re one day closer to getting out of this bizarre place.

 

 

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10 Responses to between

  1. christine says:

    oh, it is so strange, so bizarre, an alternate universe. hang tight, I’m with you.

  2. kwatkinsinfl says:

    I remember writing a similar post. And one of the hardest things is that people who haven’t been through it don’t really understand it, which makes it difficult for them to understand why you aren’t at the top of your game. It does go by quickly, though. And you’re doing good to stay busy. AND SHOP – that was the best part!

  3. Ellen says:

    I cannot even imagine, Kelly. We went through a weird state of suspended animation between the time we passed court and the time we traveled. But we hadn’t actually met our children in the flesh. I simply cannot imagine what it must be like once you’ve held and loved her in person. I think of you – and her – every day and continue to send fervent wishes to the universe for a speedy Embassy date.

  4. Molly says:

    It must be really, really hard. I’m glad you are keeping busy as it probably helps pass the time. Crossing fingers for a speedy process.

  5. Christine says:

    One of our social workers once said, “It’s really hard to live in one part of the world when your heart resides in another part.” I think you might know this better than anyone at this point! I can’t even imagine your current reality… as hard as it might be… savor it. It’s all part of the journey and I know it will make your reunion all that much sweeter!

  6. Kyra says:

    I sleepwalked through it all and now I can barely remember that time.

  7. Holli says:

    Indeed it is bizarre. I remember Joe and I wanting to do something to commemorate our in between time, but it just felt too strange and silly. I laughed when I read your line about “stupid tv” … I recall thinking that very thing. Hang tight, dear, this too shall pass.

  8. Karlie says:

    Kelly… I am feeling similar feelings and we haven’t even been to court yet. I can’t imagine how I will feel after I get to meet and hold them in the flesh. Good advice about shopping! I’m sure getting baby K’s room ready will help pass the time a little bit! Hoping these last weeks fly by for you 😉 Someday we’ll have to meet up for a play date!!

  9. Colleen says:

    Kelly- Well said!!! I could not agree more!

  10. Janet says:

    The between really must be bizarre. I felt like the time between referral and travel was bizarre…with my heart & mind in two different places. But…for you it is even more so…since you have MET her, HELD her, KISSED her. I really hope this bizarre between time is short…very short…so you can get back there to bring her home.

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