update

We got an update on the situation in Ethiopia from our agency a few days ago. I wish I could say that the update was really helpful, but unfortunately, it wasn’t. I know they’re telling us what they know; it’s just that they don’t know much for sure. I continue to appreciate the fact that our agency is not going to tell us anything they don’t know is 100% true. I have no need to be a part of the rumor mill in this particular situation.

We were told that there was a meeting in Ethiopia on Wednesday between the adoption agency network and MOWCYA (Ministry on Women’s, Children’s, and Youth Affairs). We know that MOWCYA is committed to processing all cases that are already in the system, i.e., where children have already been matched to adoptive parents. They appear to be trying to process those within the normal time frame. We also know that MOWCYA has not implemented the drastic cutback that it announced it was going to implement on March 10th. They continue to discuss their views on processing cases in the long-term, and it seems like there will certainly be some sort of slowdown in the meantime.

That’s all we know.

Craig and I continue to operate in wait-and-see mode. We don’t feel like we have enough information to fully process the situation and the possible implications. It seems pretty certain that our current expected timeframe will be extended. The question is by how much.

I have begun to get a bit alarmed that we are not more alarmed, if that makes any sense. From reading blogs and email lists and so on, it seems like many people are already working on implementing a Plan B. I have no idea what our back-up plan would be. (Have I mentioned that we thought this *was* our back-up plan?) I don’t even want to think about starting another process if we don’t have to. But are we being naive to think that we don’t need to be exploring other options?

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21 Responses to update

  1. Kelly, I’ve been thinking of you so much the last few weeks. Ugh, the unknown is so so difficult…..especially when it comes to your future child. I’ve always admired your positive, calm attitude and this situation is no exception. You amaze me! And I think the fact that you haven’t made a “plan B” is absolutely fine and perfect if that’s what feels right for you! Praying for you and hope hope hope you hear some concrete updates very soon!!

  2. Angela Hall-Richards says:

    You sound like you’re taking one day at a time and keeping an open mind. I understand you regarding Plan B, because I was totally committed to adopting from Ethiopia but life presented another road that I had not planned to travel. After everything happened, I came to the conclusion that my heart was prepared love a child. It didn’t matter where the child originated. It sounds so simple, but it’s true.

    Whatever decision you make, I’ll be in support of you. God Bless.

  3. Elizabeth says:

    So so tricky. We got wrapped up in the series of events that led to the shutdown of Viet Nam adoptions. And we were really relieved to have a backup plan. Actually we had a couple: we were working to get together a dossier for the China special needs program. In the meantime, I was trolling all the online photolistings of kids with SN, and that’s when I found Olive. We aborted our plans to apply to China and fast-tracked our home study so we could go to Korea instead.
    That said, I don’t think it’s a bad thing to have faith in your initial decision and to see how it unfolds. And no, you’re not naive.
    I think it’s completely and totally a personal decision. I was uncomfortable NOT having a plan B in place because we knew the rumblings in VN were headed down the wrong road… one frighteningly similar to Guatemala. And we were grateful that we were “ahead of the crowd,” for lack of a more tasteful term, when the program ultimately did close. But my personality is such that it would have eaten away at me on a minute-by-minute basis if we hadn’t had another plan for our adoption.
    Was that completely unhelpful or what?! 🙂

  4. sue says:

    you and craig have really been on my mind recently. i don’t think you are being naive. whatever feels right to you, is right. and if it begins to feel right to have a plan b, then that’s right too. sending lots of hugs and prayers for you guys!!!

  5. Zoe says:

    Like you, we haven’t thought of a Plan B… it feels like too much to invest ourselves in something new right now. I remain hopeful that it will happen; it just might take much longer than we thought. If it doesn’t happen, we trust that we’ll know the next best path. And I know that you will, too, whatever you decide in the coming days.

  6. Joanna says:

    Uncertainty is always the hardest part. Thinking about you guys…

  7. Erin says:

    This has got to be frustrating. You’ve already been waiting for so long. ;( *hugs* I hope something happens soon.

  8. Alan says:

    Kelly, we’ve definitely been thinking about you guys and all of the other APs in our little circle. We’ve got the basic outlines of a Plan B on our hands, but are waiting to hear more from the agency before putting it into play. We had no assurances that the road to parenting would be a straight line, but more information would always be nice…

  9. Kala says:

    I hope the wait-and-see mode doesn’t last that long. I can’t imagine how hard that must be. Thinking of you!

  10. Christine says:

    I’m so glad you posted an update… cause I’ve been thinking about this a lot. (But way too chicken to ask!) Ugh. Wait and see is SOOOO tough, but my word – you handle it like a CHAMP!

    As for Plan B… I think sometimes our guts know more than we do…

  11. I am plan B type of gal. Go with your gut and know that we are all behind whatever you decide. Thinking of you guys!

  12. Sarah says:

    I know that when you decide to adopt internationally, you don’t just choose a child, you choose a whole country and culture and history that comes with it. I can only imagine how difficult it must be to contemplate possibly moving on from a country you have chosen and put so much energy into. I think you should only move to a plan B if you’re really open to a child from another path. You’ve been so thoughtful about the adoption process up until now, I know whatever you decide to do will be the right thing. Thinking of you.

  13. Robin says:

    I hate this for you. Instead of worrying about not being alarmed I would say that you are being smart by not over-reacting at this point. Hang on until you know more. It might be a bit longer, but it sounds like if the process becomes more secure for the children (for lack of a better word?) that you would be happy with that.

    Hang in there..

  14. Janet says:

    I think it is good that you aren’t over-reacting or moving into panic mode, as I’m sure many people are doing. I love that your agency tells you what they know to be true…and doesn’t add to the rumor mill. I totally agree that coming up with a “plan B” (or C?) would be really hard to focus on right now. Suddenly changing gears is so hard. I’d wait it out a bit. You’ll know what is right when it comes to you. Thank you for sharing this with us. Hugs to you.

  15. I’m praying for your family as well, Kelly. It’s tough to live with so much uncertainty, and you really have handled it amazingly well. Let your heart guide you in this journey– if you are not alarmed about it, then I’m sure that things will work out. Someday you will look back and see how this time in your life was all part of God’s greater plan for your family. Keep up the positive attitude.

  16. Sandra says:

    I would have had a very hard time with a plan B. As you wait, you fall in love with the country you are adopting from, and personally it would have been very hard for me to even think of a plan B. I know sometimes it is necessary, but I truly hope it won’t be in your case.

  17. Kelly says:

    Kelly, I’m glad you are working with this agency. I’ve said that before but I’ll say it again. They sound very responsible and reasonable. Of course you’d like more information as fast as possible, but there’s no use in getting wrong info. I just pray this works itself out. Sounds like the Ministry made a smart choice not to jump to the drastic reduction. More time is needed to figure out what the best path forward is. I can completely understand not wanting to think about Plan B. You’ve already changed gears enough in your quest to be parents. I think your patience will be rewarded and you will be parents to the most beautiful Ethiopian child. Our neighbors just returned from Ethiopia with their adorable 9-month old daughter and of course all I could think of was you and Craig in their shoes very soon. Thinking about you!

  18. Liz says:

    I’m not a Plan B person either…

    No one has told you that you won’t be able to adopt from Ethiopia, it just seems like it might take longer than you thought it would.

    Hang in there!

  19. Barbara says:

    Every time I read or hear news about Ethiopian adoption these days, I immediately think about you, so thanks for posting an update. It’s absolutely frustrating to feel so in the dark about your baby’s future, but I have faith that things will work out. That being said, I also feel sick that it may take longer than expected, because you guys need your little one in your arms as soon as possible…like yesterday, I mean. I’ll keep praying for a miracle.

  20. alex says:

    The good thing about hanging in there is that others ahead of you will not. I know this happened with our place in the queue when the big economic downturn happened in 8/08 and beyond. People dropped off the list in front of us, and we moved along. So, movement can come in many forms, from different directions. Keep the faith! You sound very strong and it will happen.

  21. keli says:

    Hi Kelly! I was reading the WHFC message boards and clicked the link to your blog. Oh we are kindred spirits. So much of what you are writing, I am feeling too. We also do not have a Plan B. The only way we would consider other options is if the door to Ethiopian adoption is slammed in our face. Like others said, you do choose a country and a culture and you fall in love with it just like you will fall in love with your child. I like how someone said to trust your gut. That’s all we can do, right? Thank you for putting your thoughts out there. It helps me to know we are not alone.

    I love Alex’s comment above. Maybe things will move along when we least expect them to =)

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