You know that saying, “Fake it ’til you make it”? I recently decided to see if it really works.
The past few holiday seasons have been very difficult for me. During a time that is so focused on family, it is hard to be without our own. Not that I’m counting or anything, but this is the sixth holiday season to come (and soon, go) since we started trying to have a family.
Last year, we did not do a single thing to recognize the holiday season. No decorations, no cards, no parties, nothing. We even canceled our travel plans since Craig’s mom had just been diagnosed with breast cancer, and we decided we should stay near her. We missed out on spending time with our only other fairly local family (Craig’s cousin) because they had a baby on December 23rd. Our holiday consisted of a dinner for two on Christmas Eve and about two hours with Craig’s mom, who was recovering from chemo and not up for much, on Christmas Day. It was just not a fun time.
This year, I felt the lack of spirit taking over early on. But I decided I needed to fake it until I made it. So, I started by playing lots of holiday music. Then I made a shopping trip to Tar.get and picked up a few decorations. We’ve received our first couple of holiday cards in the mail. I put out a few house decorations, although we did decide to forego the tree, since we won’t be home for Christmas. Today we decided to put up our outdoor decorations.
Here is my snowman collection along with a few fun miniature trees:
You have to know that our house is pretty free of clutter and cutesy stuff, so this type of display is very unusual. We prefer a simple, clean look to the house. (We know, we’re in for it when we have kids!) So, when Craig saw my snowman display, he was a bit horrified. In fact, he started laughing so hard he could barely speak the following words (and I quote), “It looks like a craft store threw up on the piano!” I told him it was too bad – it was my holiday spirit, dammit! 🙂
The new wreath for the front door:
I think porches like ours call out for this type of decoration:
[Sorry for the dark photo, but I was trying to capture the lights!]
Anyway, it turns out that the faking it really works! I might have had to force myself to do these things, but now that I have, I am feeling a bit of that holiday spirit. Woohoo!
Also, I want to share something that I picked up the other day. I have mentioned before that in terms of acquiring stuff for our future child, we have a couple of stuffed animals, our Ethiopian flag blanket, a couple of books, and that’s it. I’m just not able (emotionally) to do anything more at this point. So, my reaction caught me by surprise the other day as I was shopping and I came across the baby section in the store. There were cute little holiday outfits and such out on the end of an aisle (I wouldn’t dare walk down those baby aisles!), and I thought to myself, I should get something for next Christmas, when we’ll hopefully have our child home with us. So I looked around a bit, and then my eyes focused on this bib:
Disregard the fact that it is pink – it was the only color they had, and I just knew I was going to get it. Plus, if we adopt a boy, we’re going to make sure he learns early on that it’s okay for boys to wear pink, and that he does not have to abide by any gender stereotypes. 🙂
Anyway, it was a good step for me to pick up this bib. First, it came shortly after my post the other day about feeling discouraged about the wait. While I’ve felt pretty comfortable thinking that our child will be home by this time next year, I’m not so sure anymore. But, buoyed by your support and kind words (THANK YOU!), I’m going to try to get back into positive thinking about that. (Realistic, but generally positive.) Second, it helps tie into my efforts about boosting my holiday spirit. And last but certainly not least, it’s something for our child, the child we’ve wished for for years. I can’t wait until it’s all covered in drool and messy food!