One year ago today, we submitted an application to our home study agency and started our adoption process.
I’m not sure how I feel about the fact that we are now a full year into the process. On one hand, it sort of seems like it was just last month. Time does fly, I suppose. On the other hand, it’s sort of depressing, because we likely have at least another year ahead of us. So it’s not like we’re close to bringing our child home.
Families receiving infant referrals from our agency now have been waiting 18 months. (We have been officially waiting for 4.5 months.) That’s definitely on the long end of their current estimated 12-18 month wait. We asked our case worker if the wait range was likely to change, and she said that they like to see a definite trend as opposed to one or two cases before changing the estimated wait time, and that in June they will look at trends and determine whether changes will be made. (They do this twice a year, I believe.)
It’s so hard to know what to think about the wait time. I was recently discussing this with another PAP, and it’s this combination of us wanting to have our family together, but also knowing that in order for our child to come to us, it means that he or she must go through the loss of their birth family. So how do you hope for that?
The wait times are so unpredictable, too, because the agencies don’t know how many children will come into care and be available for adoption. Sometimes there are several referrals in a month, and sometimes there aren’t any. There is absolutely no way to predict it. Things could get faster, or they could get slower.
So, I guess I’m thinking that being a year into this process is not really very meaningful. It’s an anniversary of taking a very big step, though, so it’s worth taking a moment to acknowledge and reflect upon the journey so far.