This is Lamby:


Cute, huh? She sits on the shelf above my desk, in the room that will become our nursery. My mom sent her to me when I was about 8 weeks pregnant, and it was the first item I received for our baby-to-be. She’s awfully cute and snuggly, but the real reason behind this particular choice of stuffed animal was that my very first stuffed animal as a baby was also a lamb. Now, that lamb, also called Lamby (because my mom and I are very creative with names, you know), was one of those really firm, rigid stuffed animals from the mid-70s and wasn’t exactly a cuddly thing you’d picture a child loving on.ย  But my great-aunt gave it to me as a newborn and after all these years, I still have it. (It’s in a bin somewhere. I thought about pulling it out to take a photo, but that would have involved unloading a closet or two to find it, so that thought was a fleeting one.)

To this day, after two more brief pregnancies and 8 months into our adoption process, Lamby is still the only thing I have for our future child. No books, toys, clothes, nursery items, or potential names. We have nothing. I just can’t seem to get myself to acquire things, make plans, or even think concretely about the fact that a child is supposedly coming our way.

I guess I don’t know what I would do with anything we might acquire now. It would have to just sit in a box somewhere for the next 18 months. I know I’m just not going to be emotionally able to put a nursery together until we have a referral in hand and a real time frame in mind. I just don’t think I can handle looking at an empty nursery month after month.

However, there have been a couple of Ethiopian-related things I have had an inkling to buy lately. This blanket is one that I think I am going to purchase. A fellow blogger, Jamey, is making and selling these in part to help fund their Ethiopian adoption. They’re beautiful blankets and I love the meaning and cause behind them. So maybe I can pick up a few things like this here or there and at least feel like I’m doing something for our wee Ethiopian.

Oh, screw it. I honestly wasn’t planning on it as I wrote this post, but I just ordered the blanket.

There, I did it. I have acquired something for our child.

Does it make me a total loser if I got a little teary-eyed as I placed the order? (Remember: I cry at everything.)

This entry was posted in adoption, baby, ethiopia, me, motherhood. Bookmark the permalink.

19 Responses to lamby

  1. Leah says:

    I know how hard it is to buy stuff for the baby “supposedly” coming your way. The experiences we’ve all been through can make us a bit skeptical in life. At least that’s the case for me. I’m so happy you bought something for your baby though. Very exciting, and it makes it that much more real. ๐Ÿ˜€

  2. Erin says:

    Aww, so sweet ๐Ÿ˜‰

  3. DeeDee says:

    oh I love that blanket….yep, I am getting one for Christmas, it has just been decided. I’ll let my husband know who to blame;)

  4. Jamey says:

    I’m totally honored that you bought one of my blankies as one of the first things for your sweet little one. I hope you love it!!

  5. Kelly says:

    I love this post. And I LOVE that you bought that adorable blanket mid-blogging. I agree, it is weird to think about buying stuff for a theoretical baby. We really haven’t bought anything ourselves. Jon’s pretty superstitious about the whole thing, although he managed to look the other way when I bought a little hanbok in Seoul. I’ve also bought a few kids books and stashed them away. But that’s all.

    I did a similar post back in June –

    PS – I may have to get one of those blankets for my friend who adopted from Ethiopia.

  6. NOT a loser to get teary. At all. It’s a huge thing, in so many ways, to make that first purchase. It’s a commitment. We held off as long as possible, but at some point the cute little things got the best of me and my wallet.
    I can’t believe it’s already been 8 months!!! Wow!

  7. Jennifer says:

    Congrats on taking that big step…Jamey’s blanket was my 1st purchase too…and I’m so very glad it was. That broke the ice for me…and since we’ve been thinking about names, planning decorating the nursery, I bought her a pair of shoes…all before we even have a referral…sheesh, I’m nuts, but lovin’ it!!! ; )

  8. Jenny says:

    i think it’s great you bought the blanket! and i think it’s great to know that i’m not the only one that gets teary eyed over stuff like that!! i can walk through the kids section in target and get teary eyed! wonderful post ๐Ÿ™‚

  9. Eileen says:

    I remember buying that first item…it was so momentous for me. I never thought that I would be doing that. Get used to it;) It gets addicting haha. Good for you. Lamby is so cute. My nephew has a Lamby and it’s so adorable when he carries it around. He’s now 4:)

  10. sue says:

    so sweet. there is something cathartic about buying that first thing for *your* baby. tears are totally normal! i love lamby – she is so cute and cuddly!

  11. Christine says:

    I’m thinking that tears are totally appropriate! What a big – and exciting – step!! And how cute is lamby?!

  12. Zoe says:

    Love the blanket and the post. Congrats on the first item bought. Kind of breaks the ice! But I understand the reluctance to buy much until it’s closer… it feels like an abstract and will continue until that referral day. Then the real scrambling will begin. ๐Ÿ™‚

  13. sarah says:

    Good for you and your baby purchase! Love the blnket. Etsy rocks…

  14. Evelyn says:

    Sweet post. I am so glad you bought the blanket – it is mighty cute! Investing in your future, which will be with your baby!

  15. Erin says:

    There is something on my blog for you

  16. Brandi says:

    Were is Mr. Bunny??? LOL! That’s great you made that first step! At this point, you should let yourself get happy and excited. You’ve been stressing over everything so far (which is not surprising for me), so let it all go! I’m not saying go and furnish the nursery, but if you find something you really love pick it up!

  17. klarobinson215 says:

    I’m glad you bought your blanket – it makes things a little more real doesn’t it!

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