I’m slowly climbing out of my deep, dark hole. I appreciate the supportive comments and emails. It helps a lot to know that other people don’t think I’m crazy. Intellectually, I know that I need to process my emotions – and that I am entitled to them – but I do have a hard time when I don’t think my emotions are particularly reasonable. That’s another project for me to work on.
I ended up taking a sick day yesterday because I cried for the first 30 minutes I was in the office. (Thank goodness I have an office with a door – otherwise I would be so screwed.) I went home, slept for 2 hours and generally behaved like a depressed person, complete with baggy sweatpants and ratty old t-shirt attire. I watched Gossip Girl as a little indulgence, and all that was missing from total woe-is-me mode was a pint of B&J’s Mint Chocolate Cookie ice cream. (I considered going to get some, but that would have involved getting off the couch.)
I did leave the house to attend a meeting at the animal shelter later in the day because, you know, there’s nothing like going to a municipal animal shelter to make you feel less depressed. (That’s sarcasm, in case it wasn’t clear.) But, as a sign of how discombobulated I was, I actually showed up 30 minutes early (which I suppose is better than 30 minutes late) and then I was utterly baffled that nobody else was there, and that there was another meeting going on in the meeting room, etc. It took me a good 15 minutes to figure out what was going on.
This morning I had a previously-scheduled acupuncture appointment, and I think the treatment was really helpful. I feel much more stable this afternoon than I did this morning. My acupuncturist also gave me a copy of a book called Loving What Is (by Byron Katie). It’s a self-help book on finding different perspectives in life and not always focusing on problems. I’ll be sure to report if it’s helpful. (Or if it’s not.)