climbing out

I’m slowly climbing out of my deep, dark hole. I appreciate the supportive comments and emails. It helps a lot to know that other people don’t think I’m crazy. Intellectually, I know that I need to process my emotions – and that I am entitled to them – but I do have a hard time when I don’t think my emotions are particularly reasonable. That’s another project for me to work on.

I ended up taking a sick day yesterday because I cried for the first 30 minutes I was in the office. (Thank goodness I have an office with a door – otherwise I would be so screwed.) I went home, slept for 2 hours and generally behaved like a depressed person, complete with baggy sweatpants and ratty old t-shirt attire. I watched Gossip Girl as a little indulgence, and all that was missing from total woe-is-me mode was a pint of B&J’s Mint Chocolate Cookie ice cream. (I considered going to get some, but that would have involved getting off the couch.)

I did leave the house to attend a meeting at the animal shelter later in the day because, you know, there’s nothing like going to a municipal animal shelter to make you feel less depressed. (That’s sarcasm, in case it wasn’t clear.) But, as a sign of how discombobulated I was, I actually showed up 30 minutes early (which I suppose is better than 30 minutes late) and then I was utterly baffled that nobody else was there, and that there was another meeting going on in the meeting room, etc. It took me a good 15 minutes to figure out what was going on.

This morning I had a previously-scheduled acupuncture appointment, and I think the treatment was really helpful. I feel much more stable this afternoon than I did this morning. My acupuncturist also gave me a copy of a book called Loving What Is (by Byron Katie). It’s a self-help book on finding different perspectives in life and not always focusing on problems. I’ll be sure to report if it’s helpful. (Or if it’s not.)

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9 Responses to climbing out

  1. Matt and Jenny says:

    i'm sorry the day started out so sucky at work, but glad to know you're slowing feeling better! we DO NOT think you're crazy at all! we love you!!!

  2. E says:

    I'm sorry you are going through a rought time right now. I really hope things look up soon.

  3. Elizabeth Frick says:

    Oh, Kelly. I'm so sorry. Glad you gave yourself some much-needed downtime. Hopefully it was healing. Wish we lived in the same town – I totally would have brought you the B&J's!

  4. CatherineD says:

    It's good that you took a day off. Even though you're down, your sarcasm is still awesome!

    It sounds like you have a very supportive acupuncturist. I've always wanted to try it, but now that I'm not working, I'm trying to cut down on things not covered by insurance.

  5. Angela says:

    Glad you took some time for yourself Kelly. I hope you continue to acknowledge your feelings.

  6. E says:

    I'm glad to hear you took the day off…you deserved it. I hope you're feeling better (and hopeful!) soon. When you described what you did this morning, I could remember so vividly the several times I had been in a similar state. Continue to take care of yourself…

  7. MK says:

    I'm glad you took a mental health day…I hope you are feeling better…

  8. Christine says:

    I'm a big believer in mental health days (especially if they involve GG!) so happy that you're feeling a bit better!

  9. Krista says:

    Mental health days are a real necessity! So is Gossip Girl! Take care of yourself.

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