a new day

Today is a new day, and I am feeling so much better. I think many people in my life don’t understand this blogging thing – the publishing of private thoughts and feelings to the world – but I am reminded now of why I do it. Thank you to everyone who has offered words of kindness, understanding, and support. This blog is my connection to others who have been through similar things, and to those who can find a way to relate in some way. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

I had a well-timed (but regularly scheduled) therapy appointment yesterday afternoon, and my therapist reminded me that I am grieving. I don’t know why I don’t always remember that, but it’s certainly true. We have had several losses in our lives in the past couple of years. Grief comes and goes, but doesn’t necessarily ever fully disappear. It most certainly can be triggered by events, significant dates, or other circumstances. Obviously this was a major trigger point for me. I think part of the intensity of this week has been that I could have been about 32 weeks pregnant right now when hearing of these births. I remember thinking, “Me too!” when one of these friends told me she was pregnant. Of course this is a reminder of that loss, and of the losses before it.

But, life goes on. It is a new day, I have a better outlook on life today, and I will be able to spend some time with family this weekend. That’s a real treat for me since none of my family lives nearby.

Craig and I both took today off. Originally we planned to spend it with my brother and his girlfriend who are visiting the DC/Baltimore area from Denver. They stayed with friends last night in Northern Virginia and are touring DC today. We haven’t been DC tourists in a while so we were going to join in for the day. But we needed to have two sets of new fingerprints taken, and we haven’t even begun to clean the house for their visit or for the social worker’s visit on Monday, so we decided that we will meet up with them tonight at one of our favorite DC dining spots, Afterwords Cafe at Dupont Circle. Then we’ll bring them to Baltimore for the weekend.

As for the fingerprints, the first set was for our gold seal letter from the state that will be included in our dossier. (For those familiar with the Ethiopian dossier, Maryland does not issue the police clearance letters, so this is what we do instead.) We already have gold seal letters, but they were issued in April and our placement agency wants them to be less than 90 days old when we submit them for our dossier, so we had to get them again. The second set was taken by USCIS for the processing of our I-600A. So that step is underway. We were able to get it all done in three hours, including over an hour of driving time, so that was good. Both sets were done electronically (while our earlier prints were done with ink and paper), so a part of me wonders why the two agencies can’t just share the electronic information. But, as I often say, it is what it is.

Okay, I’m off to give this house a serious cleaning…

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5 Responses to a new day

  1. kelly says:

    Kelly, I was thinking about you after your post yesterday and I'm really glad you're feeling better today.

    Cleaning is a good way to get your mind off stuff and a visit from family will certainly add to the distraction. 🙂

    By the way, I lived in DC after college for two years and went to KramerBooks and Afterwards Cafe on a regular basis. It was the Clinton years and sometimes I'd see George Stephanopolous there!

  2. Erica says:

    I'm often surprised at how close grief can be. Just when you think you've got it under control, it overtakes you like a wave. Just be patient with yourself. If you're anything like me, cleaning is therapuetic and helps me work through more than dust. 🙂

    Erica

  3. Zoe says:

    I don't get that 90 day thing and why agencies are so different… I asked our agency if there were time limits on anything other than our birth certificates and marriage certificate and she said no. (We have a few things from April and May so I was concerned.) Anyway… as we've already talked about, you just have to do what they say!

    Ah, grief… that's so true… it ebbs and flows.

    Your evening and weekend sounds fun – enjoy it!

  4. Angela says:

    I'm also glad to hear you're feeling better. God Bless.

  5. Christine says:

    Oh man, I'm so sorry I didn't see this (or the previous post) sooner. I was dealing with some stuff of my own… not that that is any excuse… I'm glad you are feeling better… but even happier to hear you face the pain and grief head on. Best way to do it in my book!

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