this too shall pass

I know enough from the past few years that this too shall pass. Just last week I was telling a family member that I don’t really feel sad anymore. And then, wham! It hit me again. It’s a bit of a cycle for me. But it will get better.

I’ve learned it’s best for me to let myself feel this way instead of trying to fight it. If I fight it, it lasts longer.

Part of my cycle is that when I start to feel down about one area of my life (and really, it’s the primary area of my life – if there’s one thing I have always known I’ve wanted in life, it’s a family), I feel down about other areas as well. I know I need to make some changes in the areas I can control, and that’s what I was alluding to at the end of the last post.

For example, I am not at all happy with my job. I came to the realization this week, after at least a year of talking about the need to find a new job, that I am utterly bored with my work. (Perhaps this explains the worktime blogging?) I am not challenged at all. It’s too easy. I have been looking for a new job for at least a year; there just aren’t many out there. I need to motivate myself to do some networking and make new connections. I also really need to be making more money. Craig makes a decent salary but I work for peanuts, especially considering the cost of my education and the outstanding balance of my law school student loans. I am considerably stressed out about money as we face the need for tens of thousands of dollars to adopt.

I appreciate the suggestions to focus on me or on us and to spend time together and do things now that we won’t be able to do once we have kids. But I feel like that’s what we’ve been doing for the nine years we’ve been married, and certainly the four years we’ve been trying to build our family. IMHO, we lead a very self-centered life.

In the past couple of years, I’ve taken up a new hobby (knitting) or two (gardening). I also joined a book club. Last year I joined the board of directors of the nonprofit that runs the city’s animal shelter. This is something that I feel very good and passionate about, and I probably spend 20 hours a month on it. It is also, however, pretty depressing and not exactly an uplifting activity. Craig and I decided to learn how to golf as an outside activity we could enjoy together, but the problem with golf is that it’s not exactly cheap. We enjoy entertaining people at our home for meals (Craig’s new hobby is cooking – lucky me) and games (another fairly new interest). We adopted a new dog. We have traveled a bit.

We would love to travel more – to visit our friends who live in China, tour Europe, learn how to scuba dive, or go back to Thailand to visit Craig’s dad again – but we don’t really have the money or the vacation time to do that type of travel right now. I’ve been stressing lately about the cost of a dogsitter for our dogs as we take a free vacation this summer to visit family, because I don’t even want to spend a few hundred dollars. We are hoping to take a nice trip somewhere next year to celebrate our 10th wedding anniversary, but honestly, at this point I can’t see how we will possibly be able to spend real money on a vacation.

Obviously there are things out there that would occupy my time and make me feel good. I need to find those things, especially if they are free or very low cost. I guess that will be my summer project, aside from the adoption stuff.

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5 Responses to this too shall pass

  1. Chelsea says:

    I am also looking for summer hobbies- here are two that have served me well for 3 days!

    – Watch True Blood on HBO on demand on the next rainy day. I know it is bad acting and a little silly but SO ADDICTING! I watched all 12 episodes in 2 days 🙂

    – My other one is puzzles! I guess because I can watch tv but still use my brain.

    We have had a rainy week so both of these are obviously yucky weather things but they were fun (and free)! I also want to learn how to carve wood. I love bear and moose statues but they are soooo expensive. I want to be able to go on a hike, pick up a log and take it home to carve something awesome out of it. I looked online and they recommend a cheap x-acto knife to start- so that means it is a cheap hobby!
    Anyway, those are my ideas so far… I hope they help and I hope you feel cheery soon!!

    xoxox
    Chels

  2. Christine says:

    Oh man, I’m so not a help here (see my last comment!) But you’re right… it will pass, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now.

  3. survivingbaby says:

    I’m not happy with my job either, which I hate to admit because so many people (including my husband) are out of work so I can definitely understand where you are coming from. As far as hobbies, I can’t help you, I don’t really do anything other an garden and read and volunteer…I’m not very crafty but I know a lot of people love to scrapbook and when your little one comes, you will have lots of pictures, I am sure!!!

  4. Erica says:

    That is my favorite verse! I tell myself that all the time…good or bad, “This, too, shall pass…” It keeps me focused and in the moment. I know what you mean. I have a journal that I write things down in that I want to do/see/learn and then when I have free time, I look in there and pick something. Sometimes, it’s something random from years ago (reading all the books in a series or seeing all the Audrey Hepburn movies) or something more (visit all the states in the US). It’s fun though…and there is a variety (big and small…expensive and cheap). Just a thought….I’m a list person. Don’t know if that would help you or not.

    Erica

  5. Thai-An says:

    What about doing something like being a volunteer swim teacher at a community pool? Summer is a good time for those random “drive somewhere we’ve never been and see what’s there” kind of road/day trips. Hang in there!

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