I’m in a bit of a down swing right now. It seems to be going around – I follow many blogs and a few of my online friends have noted that they are feeling down in the dumps as well.
Last weekend was hard. A good portion of it was spent with people with young children and with people who are having babies very soon. It’s nothing against them (we thoroughly enjoyed our time with all of them) but events like that always serve as yet another reminder of where we are and where everyone else is. Their lives are so different from ours. I try to do my best to participate in the conversations and show interest in what they have to say about their lives, all the while stifling the sadness and jealousy and anger because I’m not in their shoes. At least I didn’t do any crying in public.
We have many friends who have conceived and delivered two (or even more) children in the time we’ve tried to have one. That number will continue to grow since we have at least two years until our adoption is complete. I just hate being stuck in the same place when that place is not where I want to be. I need to find a way to stop thinking that way; I’m just not sure how.
I’d like to spend some time focusing on some other areas of my life. I just have to find the motivation to make changes, and I’m fresh out of motivation right now.