Four wonderful friends are providing references for us to the agency. The agency didn’t tell us much about what they would ask of the references. In hindsight, I think this was intentional so that we couldn’t coach our friends on what to expect or say. We thought that it would be a form that asked questions about how they know us, how long they’ve known us, what types of people we are, if there are any reasons why we would not be good parents, etc. But instead, they are apparently being asked to write a letter about us without much guidance. It’s just more than we had expected, and that makes me feel bad. The rest of this stuff is on us, but here we are asking friends to do a favor for us, and now it’s a bigger favor than we expected.
Of course none of our friends are complaining about this or saying anything that would make us feel bad. But it’s just turned into more than we expected and more than we had asked of them, so that does make me feel bad.
We are thankful to have supportive friends who will help us with this part of our journey. We’ve known these friends for years – some as long as 15+ years – and they know us well. I figure pretty much anything they say will be fine, so I’m not at all worried about what words they put on paper. I just don’t want it to be a burden on them.