it’s in the mail

The application to the adoption agency is in the mail! I obsessed over every last little detail – down to the choice of which return address label to use on the envelope. (I kid you not. These are the types of things I obsess over. I first picked up the one with the cute little kitty on it (from the animal shelter) but then I noted that it just said Craig’s name. Then there were the ones from some other charity that said Mr. and Mrs. Craig. Not bad, but I am a modern woman and I don’t like to be called Mrs. Craig, since I have my own name, thankyouverymuch. So I finally used the stamp that said Craig and Kelly. Phew. Big decision made.) I also made sure there was sufficient postage on the envelope. (The postage scale in my office said one stamp would suffice. But how could that be? I mean, there were 8 pages of paper plus 6 photographs. I decided the scale was surely wrong and that I had better use two stamps. Again, phew.)

The selection of the photographs was actually the hold-up for the past week, when the application was otherwise pretty much ready to go. The agency asked us to attach “two recent photos of each applicant.” At first I was fairly annoyed that we had to provide photos just to get in the door at the agency, but, I do know that I have to play by the rules. So I got over it. Then I got to thinking: Do they want photos of us individually? That’s what it sounded like. But then will they think something’s wrong with us if I don’t send them photos of us as a couple? But if I only send photos of us together, will they think I can’t follow directions? In the end, we sent two photos of me, two of Craig, and two of us together as a couple. Check.

(Yes, this could be a VERY LONG process with obsessive-compulsive Kelly at the helm.)

We have decided to proceed with an international adoption. South Korea is still our first choice, but I am not very hopeful that it will work out. We noted Colombia, Ethiopia, and Nepal as other possibilities. We are hoping that a social worker will help us determine which programs will work for us; we’ve already researched them all. We also had to provide preliminary thoughts on what types of health or developmental issues we might be willing to think about. The list included things like cleft palate, malnutrition, prematurity, history of mental health problems in the family, drug/alcohol exposure in utero, hearing loss, etc. We noted that we are open to discussing most of the listed items. Of course nobody goes into parenthood hoping for a child with disabilities, but we are okay with at least talking about them at this point. As things move forward we will narrow down our list and then of course we will have the chance to review – and have a pediatrician review – any referral that comes our way before accepting it.

Anyway, I’m feeling good about this. Excited, even. But I’m also nervous. We were flat-out rejected from the first agency we approached, and it still stings. But, I’m feeling like it will work out this time. Something has to work out for us soon.

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10 Responses to it’s in the mail

  1. Matthew says:

    glad to hear you’re feeling good about the process.

  2. Jenny says:

    Im praying for you! I’m so happy you chose to proceed. I am proof an OCD, neurotic, woman on medication can suceed. You are proof that sharing your struggles creates new friendships! Good luck. Here’s hoping for a quick approval and referral.

  3. Erica says:

    Isn’t it exciting to feel like the ball is rolling…even if slowly? I will be praying for you two and that you get a positive answer from this agency. I’ve been getting caught up on your story. I’m greatly enjoying the pics of your yard! A fellow gardener! Woo hoo! AND a Yank, to boot! πŸ˜‰ I was born in Havre de Grace…used to spend my weekends at the Inner Harbor. It’s nice to join the journey with ya. Erica

  4. Erica says:

    Do you listen to the band Cake? Is that where you got the idea for your blog title, by chance?

  5. Debbi says:

    I’m sending good thoughts your way. I can only imagine how anxious it might be going through this process!

  6. Kelly says:

    Why yes, Erica, I am a big Cake fan! See At times I feel my prosperity has been grossly interrupted, but overall, I know I live a very good life. I need to remind myself of that from time to time, hence the title. Glad you caught the reference!

  7. Elizabeth says:

    Yea!!! I have to admit, I did the *same* debating over return address labels. Too funny. I thought I was the only one strange enough to do that πŸ˜‰I’m so hopeful for you guys that this is the right path to your family. And as far as special needs babies go, we’ve had nothing but wonderful things come from our experience. I’ve never known a love like this and hope the same for you!

  8. Kori says:

    WOO HOO! I’m so excited for you two. Please keep us posted. πŸ™‚ Slowly and surely, slowly and surely…

  9. Merissa says:

    Best of luck Kelly!

  10. margaret says:

    This is from your non-blogging mother. I didn’t even know I could leave a comment! So sorry-but glad I have learned something new. Of course you have my full love and support-but you already knew that, right? This is so overdue that you probably won’t even see it! Let me know-

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