Nature has taken its course. I’m glad it’s over. That sounds horrible, but it’s how I feel at this point. This is nature’s way of taking care of a baby that would not survive to term or would be seriously disabled. As much heartache as there is now, it would be infinitely worse if we had a later loss or had to make a difficult decision somewhere down the road. I am thankful that these miscarriages seem to occur early for us.
I’m a bit concerned that the cramps and bleeding only lasted for a few hours last night. I guess it will start up again at some point. I had what was quite possibly the most horrific moment of my life last night when I saw the sac. Nothing is really identifiable at this point (and I didn’t look closer), but just the sac alone was really upsetting. It was not something I wanted to see.
I know some of you have gotten more than you bargained for by continuing to read my blog that started out just being about random parts of my life. But some of you have found me because you’re in similar situations – whether dealing with infertility, balanced translocation, pregnancy loss, adoption, etc. (Who knew that my blog would be #21 on a Google search for balanced translocation?) I know how helpful it is to me when I read others’ stories and feelings, and while part of this blogging is pure therapy for me, I also share my story so that others can feel less alone. Finding others who can relate has been a real lifesaver for me.
This morning I have already cleaned three bathrooms, swiffered, vacuumed (and realized that our vacuum is not working properly – it’s simply moving around on the floor), wiped down the kitchen, and tried to de-dog the house. The laundry is simply not getting done today. Now I’m off to get blood drawn and then pick up my dad and stepmom at the airport. They’re here for the weekend for her sister’s wedding, which we will also attend on Sunday, and did I mention we’re hosting a pre-wedding dinner for 23 people tomorrow night? Sigh. It’s good to be busy, but this timing just sucks.