So, I’m pregnant. For the time being. I found out three weeks ago when I took a HPT a few days earlier than I normally would – just because I had a gut feeling. I knew I was pregnant.
We decided to try to be like normal people and forego the early pregnancy betas and other monitoring. So, we had our first OB appointment today, at 7 weeks exactly. We both felt that we would be able to breathe a tiny bit easier if things looked good today, as our previous pregnancies have either failed or showed signs of failure by 7 weeks.
But something changed yesterday. I noticed that my early pregnancy symptoms had eased up a bit. I had a bad feeling in my core – one that everything was not alright. A part of me knew it was bad news; the other part of me thought perhaps I was playing mind games with myself as a defense mechanism or something. This morning I had some mild bleeding.
The sonogram confirmed problems – the baby only measured at 5w3d and had a slow heartbeat. The sonographer and my doctor kept asking me if I was sure about our timing. Yes, I was sure. I’ve been doing this long enough to be sure of my cycle. I could follow it in my sleep.
I’m still pregnant, but we don’t expect I will be for much longer. We go back next Friday for another sonogram. The miracle of all miracles could happen and things could look better, but we’re too smart and experienced this time around to believe that could really happen. We went through this exact scenario on pregnancy #1. If things don’t occur naturally in the next week, my doctor wants me to have another D&C after next week’s appointment. I’m hoping to at least avoid that.