Last night we attended another informational session at an adoption agency. I have to say, we both really clicked with this agency. We got a great vibe. I was particularly impressed that they have established new programs/policies in an effort to assist adoptive parents in getting through the process in a more timely manner. One example is that they will let you pursue two adoption tracks at once. Whichever comes through first is the match, and then, after an appropriate period of time has passed, they consider letting you proceed with the second one. I’m not sure if this is the right option for us, but it would be nice to only have to do one set of trainings, one home study, etc. (BTW, they also have a similar policy when pregnancies occur during the process. Many agencies will automatically shut down your adoption process, but this agency will help decide whether to continue with the adoption in addition to the pregnancy.)
I also enjoyed the guest speaker, a parent who completed an adoption from South Korea within the past 18 months. This speaker seemed much more relevant and timely than the speaker at another one of these sessions that had adopted five children, but 18-30 years ago. We both also really liked an analogy the executive director made in her opening remarks. She said that you shouldn’t consider adopting a child of another race if you wouldn’t marry a person of another race. We just liked the way she made an analogy that people could understand. Transracial adoption is certainly not to be taken lightly.
I contacted the director of the international program today and asked about my medication. She said they don’t have a blanket policy, so that’s a relief. She did say, though, that Korea and China would not work. I’m not quite ready to give up on Korea yet, mostly because I know two people who have adopted from Korea while taking antidepressants. It just makes me feel like there must not be a definite, strict policy about it if these people have been approved (one as recently as last month). It may be something that we really have to push for. We’ll see. Ethiopia and Colombia both sound really interesting, so they may be possibilities. This agency also works in Nepal and India, two countries we haven’t seen much of in our adoption studies.
Their domestic program also sounded interesting. I am working on getting over my fears that a birth mother would never pick us. It’s just something I’m working on. The idea of an open adoption is scary to both of us, but they said that generally the most open relationships they coordinate involve one or two visits a year with the birth parents at the agency’s office, and don’t even involve the exchange of our names or addresses. We could probably handle that. Then there is the 30-day period after the baby is born when the birth mother can change her mind. Talk about scary.
This agency seems like a real, viable option for us. We have another informational session next week, and I hope after that we can make a decision on how to move forward.