progress, perhaps

Last night we attended another informational session at an adoption agency. I have to say, we both really clicked with this agency. We got a great vibe. I was particularly impressed that they have established new programs/policies in an effort to assist adoptive parents in getting through the process in a more timely manner. One example is that they will let you pursue two adoption tracks at once. Whichever comes through first is the match, and then, after an appropriate period of time has passed, they consider letting you proceed with the second one. I’m not sure if this is the right option for us, but it would be nice to only have to do one set of trainings, one home study, etc. (BTW, they also have a similar policy when pregnancies occur during the process. Many agencies will automatically shut down your adoption process, but this agency will help decide whether to continue with the adoption in addition to the pregnancy.)

I also enjoyed the guest speaker, a parent who completed an adoption from South Korea within the past 18 months. This speaker seemed much more relevant and timely than the speaker at another one of these sessions that had adopted five children, but 18-30 years ago. We both also really liked an analogy the executive director made in her opening remarks. She said that you shouldn’t consider adopting a child of another race if you wouldn’t marry a person of another race. We just liked the way she made an analogy that people could understand. Transracial adoption is certainly not to be taken lightly.

I contacted the director of the international program today and asked about my medication. She said they don’t have a blanket policy, so that’s a relief. She did say, though, that Korea and China would not work. I’m not quite ready to give up on Korea yet, mostly because I know two people who have adopted from Korea while taking antidepressants. It just makes me feel like there must not be a definite, strict policy about it if these people have been approved (one as recently as last month). It may be something that we really have to push for. We’ll see. Ethiopia and Colombia both sound really interesting, so they may be possibilities. This agency also works in Nepal and India, two countries we haven’t seen much of in our adoption studies.

Their domestic program also sounded interesting. I am working on getting over my fears that a birth mother would never pick us. It’s just something I’m working on. The idea of an open adoption is scary to both of us, but they said that generally the most open relationships they coordinate involve one or two visits a year with the birth parents at the agency’s office, and don’t even involve the exchange of our names or addresses. We could probably handle that. Then there is the 30-day period after the baby is born when the birth mother can change her mind. Talk about scary.

This agency seems like a real, viable option for us. We have another informational session next week, and I hope after that we can make a decision on how to move forward.

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6 Responses to progress, perhaps

  1. Kori says:

    What great news! Hurray for the right fit. 🙂

  2. Aileen says:

    Yay! I’m so glad to hear that you’ve found people you are more comfortable with.

  3. Anonymous says:

    Kelly- I happened to fall into your blog today. I adopted a little girl from Nepal a few years ago and she is perfectly wonderful. Nepal was a very difficult place to adopt from so I am not exactly recommending that country but adopting worked out great for me.My nice little life went super nova. My little girl is great.The adoption process is lousy. It took forever. Balto MD is horrible to get the home study through. These foreign countries are goofy. These agencies jerk your around, like the one you went to that gave you a hard time about depression- most adopting people have been through the wringer and have taken meds for depression. Hang in there. Most of it is paper work and waitingMy child was worth everything and more. Once I walked off that plane with my baby she was mine and that was that.Join the AAR Adoption Agency Research Yahoo group. Don’t be scared off as everyone with a problem adoption writes about what happened. But you can find a good agency there.

  4. Kelly says:

    Anonymous – I’d love to talk with you if you’re willing. Please post a comment with your email address. I promise I will not publish it – I just would like to be able to get in touch with you. Thanks!

  5. Dale Conger says:

    Good to hear you are making progress. Love Dad

  6. SJG says:

    Very active blog you have here! Being one going through the process myself I wonder why people fear an open adoption. Our agency gave us enough example of it working and telling of the benefits of it. I know all my reservations come from the odd stories (or rather made for TV movies) where some birth mother changes her mind and wants her kids back.

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