the waiting game

The waiting has begun. We understand that we will spend a good amount of time waiting during our adoption process. We will have to wait to obtain birth certificates and fire marshall inspections, and we will have to wait to attend classes and fill out pertinent paperwork. Then there’s the wait after submitting our paperwork and before receiving a referral, and the wait after receiving a referral until we can actually meet and bring home our child. (This one I hear is particularly agonizing.) And I’m sure there are many other waits as well. I know that we will not have full control of this process. If we did, well, we’d already be in South Korea. We just weren’t expecting the process to start with a waiting period.

Most of you faithful readers (all 12 of you) know that I am compulsively organized. I am the Queen of Paperwork. Give me something I need to fill out and sign, and I will return it to you quickly. I can’t stand it when papers stack up on my desk (at home… work seems to be a different situation judging by the current mess), and I just need to get things done. So, when we finally submitted our paperwork to the adoption agency, I was ecstatic to get a phone call the very next day from a social worker (SW). I was surprised that the US Postal Service had even delivered the mail so quickly. And I was really glad that she contacted us the very day she received our paperwork.

However, it has now been 9 days (not that I’m counting or anything), and we have heard nothing more. I had to sign release forms (filled out and mailed back the day after I received them, of course) so that the SW can talk with both my therapist and psychiatrist. South Korea has very strict rules about allowing adoptions to parents who have been under treatment for any type of mental health issue. Depression is certainly included as a mental health issue. So, before we can move forward at all, our SW has to determine whether we will be acceptable to South Korea. She told me, quite frankly, that we may not be acceptable. Obviously this would be disappointing, and we would need to reevaluate the decisions we made to lead us to South Korea in the first place (more on that another day). But there are many other countries we could pursue that don’t have the same strict requirement.

So, we wait. We wait until the SW talks with my therapist and psychiatrist (both of whom promise to give glowing reports), and then we wait until our agency talks with the agency in South Korea about us. And then we’ll know which way to move forward. This wait is a mere drop in the bucket, I know, and future waits will likely make this one seem silly and trivial. But we are finally ready to move forward, and we’re eager to get the ball rolling.

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