The past couple of months have been really rough for me. I’ve been feeling, as Mike Doughty would say, as if I was looking at the world from the bottom of a well. I have just been incredibly sad, lethargic and depressed.
A couple of weeks ago I finally decided to start taking an antidepressant. I had been trying to avoid medication because 1) it’s not great to be on an antidepressant while trying to conceive and 2) some countries are very interested in mental health in international adoption applications. However, it got to the point where I needed to take care of myself, so I talked to a doctor.
I’m starting to feel a positive shift, and it’s very refreshing. I have actually heard myself laugh lately. I’m hoping the trend will continue and I might even regain some interest in knitting and other things I used to enjoy. Now if I could just get my sleep under control. I haven’t had a decent night of sleep in months.
My therapist says that things often get worse when you’re about to make a major change. I’ll be curious to see how her theory plays out. I’m already feeling much more comfortable with the adoption scenario. We have even completed the initial application to the agency we selected; now we just need to submit it.