Last night Craig and I attended an informational session at a local adoption agency. We also attended one of these several months ago with a different agency. I was a nervous and emotional wreck all day, feeling incredibly stressed and sad. Adoption is simply not an exciting prospect to me right now. Intellectually I know it’s what we need to do, but emotionally, I am simply not there yet. I know that we will love an adopted child as much as humanly possible, but I worry about acceptance by friends and family. And I grieve for the fact that we might never be able to experience the things that most people get to experience when having children.
I was hoping that we would leave the meeting last night with a sure path – knowing which agency we liked better, and whether we would pursue international or domestic adoption. We left with no clarity at all.