still unclear

Last night Craig and I attended an informational session at a local adoption agency. We also attended one of these several months ago with a different agency. I was a nervous and emotional wreck all day, feeling incredibly stressed and sad. Adoption is simply not an exciting prospect to me right now. Intellectually I know it’s what we need to do, but emotionally, I am simply not there yet. I know that we will love an adopted child as much as humanly possible, but I worry about acceptance by friends and family. And I grieve for the fact that we might never be able to experience the things that most people get to experience when having children.

I was hoping that we would leave the meeting last night with a sure path – knowing which agency we liked better, and whether we would pursue international or domestic adoption. We left with no clarity at all.

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3 Responses to still unclear

  1. Rachel says:

    It really takes a while to wrap your head around it. Don’t rush yourself. It’s important to take your time approaching all of this stuff. I went to a local Resolve conference on Adoption and that helped tremendously. My local Resolve also has an adoption support group. Education is best. Find other people trying to make the same decisions, or who have already made it through. You need to find other people in a similar place and who have made their family through adoption.This is an incredibly difficult road, but if it is right for you it will feel right. But that takes time, so be patient with yourself. You can do this.

  2. jude says:

    I agree with Rachel, and you can remove concern of acceptance from family on your list. We would accept an adopted child with open arms. Love Dad

  3. Toast says:

    *snort* I’m sorry. I should be more respectful, but this phrase kills me “We might never be able to experience the things that most people get to experience when having children.” All this demonstrates is that you are a first time mommy. As soon as you’ve spent a few months raising one baby, you’ll know that those whole gestation months do NOT a parent make. In fact, they are completely and utterly beside the point. All the real “things” to experience come way after you pop one out, and every adoptive parent goes through them just as much as the home built models. Twelve years after making the first, 8 after the last, I really hardly remember that phase. It was pretty damn meaningless compared to all the experiences we’ve had since. When you’re ready for parenting, go get yourself a kid. Your family will love that girl or boy just as much as we love you, just as much as we’d love anything you were able to produce through your internal plumbing. We will also snicker just as much when that new little one turns your life upside, drives you insane, and makes you question whether the human species really should continue.And we are going to enjoy all the booty pictures.

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